Polly wants more than a cracker
“I’m not only the president of the Sex Club for Birds - I’m a member,” jokes board-certified avian veterinarian Elisabeth Simone-Freilicher of the Veterinary Medical Center of Long Island in West Islip, who gives a popular parrot seminar called “Sex and Pscittacine.”
The owner of a Goffin’s cockatoo that is the feathered equivalent of “Sex and the City’s” femme fatale, Samantha Jones - “one big hussy,” she says with a sigh - Simone-Freilicher says many behavioral problems that both male and female birds exhibit are byproducts of sexual frustration.
Humans unwittingly encourage this dysfunction by sheer dint of lifestyle. “The way we set up our homes evokes the tropical rain forest and breeding season,” Simone-Freilicher says, ticking off the come-hither triggers: high thermostat settings, high-fat diets rich in fruits and nuts, and prolonged exposure to light. “Birds need a good 12 hours of darkness,” she says, but oftentimes they don’t get it.
Sort of avian Carrie Bradshaws who pine for millet instead of Ferragamos, single parrots inevitably want to couple. “During the breeding season, flocks break down into pairs, and your mate is the only one watching your back,” Simone-Freilicher explains.
Lonely parrots often make the interspecies leap, and conclude their owner is their mate. “If you work and are gone from home eight to 10 hours a day,” she says, feather-plucking and other forms of separation anxiety can manifest. Females may begin to lay eggs, putting them at risk for dystocia, or egg binding, and creating an unnecessary drain on their system.
Then there’s the issue of, er, self-gratification.
“It’s pretty unmistakable,” says Simone-Freilicher, noting that owners sometimes call to report their bird is having a seizure. She then gently explains that Polly is pleasuring him or herself. “People think they’re having a very stimulating, loving relationship with their bird, and they are,” she says. “It’s not just the kind they think they’re having.”
To discourage these bouts of self-love, you can remove the object of attachment, whether it’s your arm or a particular toy. Good luck if it happens to be the bars of the cage themselves, as is the case with Simone-Freilicher’s lusty little cockatoo.
While spaying or neutering often resolves unwanted sexual behaviors in dogs and cats, it’s just not a viable option in birds. Not only is the surgery very intricate and a high risk to the patient, but sex hormones produced by the adrenal glands can still elicit the same degree of behavior.
Here are some ways to modify your approach and your bird’s environment to mute this love that dares squawk its name:
No heavy petting. “Snuggling and cuddling are not common in adult birds, unless you’re sexually bonded,” Simone-Freilicher says. Don’t venture below the neck; petting the back can be very stimulating for a hen. “A quick scratch is a great thing between friends. Anything else and you’re getting into a heavy date.”
Limit eye contact. Locking eyes across a crowded room can only lead to trouble. You can dampen the overtures of a persistent romantic by taking the bird off your shoulder or arm, setting him down in a secure place like a parrot playpen, turning your back and leaving the room briefly. “Those are clear signs that birds will use with each other,” Simone- Freilicher says.
Enforce 12 hours of darkness. Consider investing in “blackout” shades that prevent any light from entering. If you can’t devote an entire room to a half-day of darkness, another option is to put the bird in a travel cage, and then in a walk-in closet for the night.
Displace that energy. Simone-Freilicher recommends trick training as a way to channel pent-up energy. Ditto for foraging toys, which require a bird to work for its meals. “Birds spend half of their waking hours in the wild looking for food and accessing it,” compared to about 30 to 90 minutes in captivity, she says. “Reorganizing their time budget can help divert their thoughts from sex.”
Discuss hormone injections for serious cases. Some birds become aggressive and territorial toward humans in the household - or even to their perceived human mate, in an effort to drive them off to safety so they can take on any perceived rivals. With these tough cases, Simone-Freilicher sometimes recommends hormone injections, which can calm the bird down long enough for the owner to attempt some behavior modification, including teaching manners such as “step up” and “step down.”
But the behavior will likely return, she notes, if the owners do not change the environment and other triggers.
“I see a lot of success when owners make changes,” Simone-Freilicher concludes. “One of the things people find is that the quality of the pet that they end up with is much better.”